Things had passed, and things had gone. and it's either irrelevant to write every memory that had happened during the time i have not written or maybe i do not want to write it, because its painstaking.
But i wrote for the sake of the people who enjoy reading my journal and it is, through them, that i get my energy of writing again. even if it hurts to remember.
The uglier the truth, the more truth lies in it. makes sense?
Sometimes, i wish of death, not suicidal but something like the earth would swallow me so that this would all end. These are some mornings when I cry and cry and mourn for myself. Some mornings, I’m so angry and bitter. But it doesn’t last too long. Then I get up and say, 'I want to live'.
I'm writing this because what if tomorrow never comes?
What if i never get to say I'm sorry or I love you tomorrow?
The hardest thing for me to do is I have to let you go and I know in my heart that I dont want to - I never have. I will miss you more than I can express - but I have to accept that sometimes you cant undo the hurt. Sometimes you just have to let someone be free. I pray that if you ever miss me you will seek me out - the door is always open. I love you. I pray that my sincere apology reaches you through whatever means and that you will find peace in your heart with me. I am sorry I lied to you.
I know that you may not trust me right now, so I will have to be patient, and that is very hard for me. I love you very much and I want to keep you in my life forever.
Carlo_SAD
